The Practice

I started a book last night called The Art of Possibility.

The end of the first chapter leaves you with 2 questions to help you get out of your normal framework and into something new (and better).

What assumption am I making,
That I’m not aware I’m making,
That gives me what I see?

And when you have an answer to that question, ask yourself this one:

What might I now invent,
That I haven’t yet invented
That would give me other choices?

I could probably work on those 2 things for years, but that was only the end of the first chapter.

On I go….

focus.

Focus has been kind of a buzz word at work lately, so it’s heavy on my mind.

To change topics for a second, every 5 or 6 weeks my boss does employee evaluations with us. Each time we get asked about personal goals. One of my personal goals was to get in better shape, and ever since I said it out loud I haven’t done a single thing about it with the exception of some dietary changes. If my friend Chelsea is reading this, she is probably laughing out loud at the thought of me working out. It just isn’t done with me. I’ve tried it. I hate it. I suck at it, in fact. And I am genetically just fine not working out: as long as I don’t go crazy, I don’t gain weight.

But I feel like it’s a leadership principle. I said I was going to do it, and I need to do it.

Back to focus.

With the encouragement and coaching of this incredible woman, I ran for the first time last night. It was brief, but oh so sweet. I ran for about half a mile and had a 15 second break somewhere in there. She was right beside me the whole way, praising me, cheering me on. Keeping me focused. Giving me goals.

I figured something out pretty quickly though. I wore a hat, you see, because it was chilly and windy, and I kind of like hats, although I only have one. So the hat and the running: when I lifted my head, I could see how far away I was from my goal, but when I looked down, the brim of the hat shielded the view and I could only see what was immediately in front of me. Only my next steps. Only my immediate focus.

So I kept my head down, and I ran. And I felt darn good about it.

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.” – Philippians 3:12-14, The Message

Controversy Friday

This one isn’t getting pulled from the news, this one is straight from my heart to yours.

Let’s talk about church leadership and drinking.

I struggle with it. I feel drawn to I Corinthians 5 here. In I Corinthians 5, Paul is talking about sex, and how you have to call out fellow Christians when they are having sex with their stepmothers. Kind of obvious, isn’t it?

But I feel like it’s more than that. I feel like there’s a principle here.

9-13 I wrote you in my earlier letter that you shouldn’t make yourselves at home among the sexually promiscuous. I didn’t mean that you should have nothing at all to do with outsiders of that sort. Or with crooks, whether blue or white-collar. Or with spiritual phonies, for that matter. You’d have to leave the world entirely to do that! But I am saying that you shouldn’t act as if everything is just fine when a friend who claims to be a Christian is promiscuous or crooked, is flip with God or rude to friends, gets drunk or becomes greedy and predatory. You can’t just go along with this, treating it as acceptable behavior. I’m not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don’t we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers? God decides on the outsiders, but we need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line and, if necessary, clean house. (Taken from The Message)

To me, what Paul is saying is this: I wasn’t just talking about sex here! I am talking about your brothers and sisters in Christ who aren’t acting right! You can’t act like it’s fine when a Christian “is promiscuous or crooked, is flip with God or rude to friends, gets drunk or becomes greedy and predatory.” This is incredible to me, because Paul isn’t talking about church leadership here– just the members themselves (members of the community of believers).

So how much more so is church leadership accountable? How much more so am I accountable? Earlier in I Corinthians 5, Paul says, “Your flip and callous arrogance in these things bothers me.” I know speaking for myself, I have been flip and callous and arrogant about it for far too long.

What about you guys?

i’ve got this.

I had a great conversation yesterday. A friend was sharing a story about his marriage and how his wife, a very independent lady (a single mom, before they were married) had let all of her walls down and completely let him in. She had been hurt, but she trusted him fully. They had an amazing marriage, enviable by all counts.

One careless joke slayed it. Her walls came back up. It took them 6 years to recover. He told me this with tears in his eyes.

Women my age are raised to believe that independence is a virtue. He said that if you look at it through new lenses, you might see that it could be considered a weakness.

Of course it’s great to be able to take care of yourself, to not need anyone to help you. But at the same time, in order to give love, you have to receive love. And to receive love, you have to give it.

So how do you allow yourself to receive love after you’ve been hurt so badly? How do you undo the independence you thought was so noteworthy? How do you become vulnerable? A life lived based on independence is no life at all.

I don’t know, but if you figure it out tell me.

You don’t get to decide what people reap.

Here’s my big lesson for this week: I don’t get to decide what people reap.

I know that’s weird…but you know the old saying, “You reap what you sow.” Yeah, that’s from the Bible or something.

Anyway, I think we as humans have a tendency to assume that we get to decide what people reap. If a co-worker is rude to you, you get to “conveniently forget” to give them an important message, so they miss making a sale. Or if your spouse sucks at hitting the alarm clock, you decide to not wake them up that morning. So what if they’re late? They deserve it right?

Wrong.

You do not get to decide what people reap.

Your responsibility is to invest in them and serve them. Period.

I hope this wrecks you like it did me.

HAVE A NICE WEEK

another “duh” moment in the life of e.t.s.

Ok, so here’s the thing. I have a potty mouth. I know it. I use it mostly for humor purposes, but we all know it’s not acceptable. I shouldn’t even hint at using bad words or euphemisms in blogs, in tweets, whatever.
But a week ago I would not have argued that. I have said, “I would give up anything, ANYTHING to be in leadership at RPC. Drinking, going out to dance, you name it, I’ll give it up. But I won’t give up my personality, including what I think is funny, like euphemisms, cursing, etc. etc.” Yeah, I said that. and I argued in the name of authenticity. “I want to be authentic,” I said, “I want people to know that Christians are real people, and they deal with things.” That’s what our culture needs, I thought.
And I’d get mad about it, and I’d fume and stew and argue with myself, or my friends who’ve confronted me about it.
‘Cause I am hard headed.

And Jesus, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, and perfect incredible love, and his patient, caring heart of a father, stopped my argument in its tracks the other day, with 9 simple words from a song:

I want more of You
and less of me

And I’m pretty sure there is nothing left to say after that.

So now I’m trying to remember how I need to die to myself to live for Him. ‘Cause Jesus said some controversial, authentic, culture changing stuff in His time, and he was never inappropriate.

And we are still talking about Him.

give a little bit

last week Timm talked about being in the zone, and in one specific segment of the sermon he talked about helping people when you are able to do it. maybe that’s why God has blessed you so much, just so you can share it.

that really bugs me. ’cause i’m an only child, married to an only child, and we are NOT good at sharing.

but somehow today i stumbled across this blog post. a young couple is trying to get their first house. he is a pastor. they want it so bad they can taste it, and they are 5K short or beating someone out for the house. they are asking 2500 people to give 2 dollars. i know just how they feel. [in fact, i wish i'd thought of this creative way to raise money!]

i can give 2 dollars. that’s a pass on a coke slurpee, a pack of cigarettes, a 6 pack of beer, another outfit for your kid who already has 47 thousand outfits, a new CD on itunes, whatever. whatever your thing is, pass on it and help these people out. not because you are awesome and godly and whatever, but because you can. because you should. because that is what humanity should be about.

i gave them 2 dollars.
will you?

*Mike says I need to make a note. pack of cigarettes/six pack of beer etc. is not necessarily what I would give up, but what someone would. i.e. i don’t smoke. i wish.

let’s do an exercise

My quiet time today is called “Confidence in God,” which really couldn’t have come at a better moment for me.

I feel very compelled to share it with you all, and I hope that you will participate in this…

Everything in italics is from “Solo-The uncommon devotional.”

Read: Read this Psalm aloud slowly. 

Psalm 121

1-2 I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

3-4 ________, He won’t let you stumble,
your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
Guardian will never doze or sleep.

5-6 God’s your Guardian, ________
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke, _______
sheltering you from moonstroke.

7-8 God guards you, _______,  from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return, _______,
he guards you now, he guards you always.

Think: This psalm ranks as one of the greatest psalms of trust and confidence. As you read it aloud a second time, do something different from verse 3 on. Address yourself by name in the places where the blank appears. 

Read the passage a 3rd time.

Is there a word or phrase that sticks out most to you?
Share it.

Pray.  Speak with God about how much you do or don’t trust him. Tell him about your confidence level and ask him to give you grace to grow in it.

Live. Have a little fun here. Keep these ideas about confidence in mind and stand as confidently as you can. You might even want to gesture–put your hands on your hips or hold out your fists in front of you. Stay in this pose for several seconds, going over your selected phrase. Now do it in front of a mirror. Imagine God standing next to you, protecting you in some way. He might be shielding you from the side, or maybe He’s behind you with His arms wrapped around you.  

The Bible can really come alive when you start putting your name in there like that.

I’ll tell you my phrase:
“God’s your Guardian, Emily, right at your side to protect you…”

Don’t forget to tell me your favorite phrase.

character shoes

I remember more of my first year at college more than I remember any other year. I couldn’t live on campus (or I’d talked myself out of it…something) so I didn’t know anyone.

I. Didn’t. Know. Anyone.

It was the loneliest time of my life.  I would drive to school early, go to class, go to Mitchell’s, drive back to campus, eat breakfast in my car, go to class, eat lunch in my car, read a book in my car, go to class.

Typically this is me anyway. People freak me out.

But in a college setting, where relationships are forming all around you…it’s harsh. No one cares.

I hear about an audition for a musical. I think “well, the worst that can happen is I get laughed off the stage, and I’ve done that before.” I go to auditions. There are lots of girls. Lots of tiny blonde girls, and they are all best friends with each other (Lord I was naive). One would later become my maid of honor, my “blonde counterpart,” but I didn’t know it yet. Just then, she was competition. I was terrified. A room full of beautiful blonde people.

I sang a horrible song. It was the worst audition of my life. I got a part. I was a whore. No, in the show, that was my role. I was one of 10 or so. “Get some character shoes,” they said, “rehearsals start next week.”

And just like that I was in. I had friends, a crowd to hang with, even a boyfriend, err..sure. We can call him that.

I also got from them a terrible lifestyle, but I digress.

I spent the better part of the rest of my school years in my character shoes. Auditioning, falling on incomplete sets, smoking outside the theatre. These shoes are slippery when you first get them, and you have to wear them a lot to have a grip, to get your footing.

It has been 2 years since I’ve done a production. Because even though I could get into character in my character shoes, I couldn’t quite grasp my character. Who was I? What did I believe? How far was I willing to go? What would I do when no one was looking? The theatre was a place of acceptance and approval. No boundaries. And I found that I became the character I was playing. A whore, a snooty sidekick, a cheating wife. I didn’t always take it so far (like, I didn’t cheat on Mike, duh), but my thought processes were impacted significantly. I’d lose the ability to distinguish my reality from the character’s world.

So I’ve stayed away, trying to clear my conscience, move on, build my character, love God.

But now, my character shoes are calling me. I am absolutely itching to do a show.
The question is, when I put the shoes on, who exactly is filling them? Have I changed enough that the same girl that walks into the auditions will be the same person taking a bow on the final night? And if that’s the case, did I really do it right? 

Perhaps we shall see.

Character shoes indeed.

God can handle you.

That’s the title of my quiet time today.

Job 42:7-13 if you want to look it up. Basic synopsis: God is more please with Job for being honest about being pissed than he is with Job’s friends for being indifferent about how they feel.

I think this quote from Peter Kreeft sums it up better than I could:

[Job] is in a true relationship to God, as the three friends are not: a relationship of heart and soul, life-or-death passion….God is infinite love, and the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Job’s love for God is infected with hate, but the three friends’ love for God is infected with indifference. Job stays married to God and throws dishes at him; the three friends have a polite nonmarriage, with separate bedrooms and separate vacations. The family that fights together stays together.

God can handle your anger. He wants it. He wants an HONEST relationship with you. Job got pissed. He was angry, hurt, and maybe even bitter. But he didn’t turn his back on God and become indifferent to Him. HE TALKED TO HIM ABOUT IT.

What about you?
Are you talking to God about what He does that cheeses you off?

God can handle you.

Discuss.