A suburban girl’s worst nightmare.

I am dangerously close to being out of makeup, with no hope of getting more until Saturday.

Worried? yes.

confession:

almost every phrase in every conversation triggers song lyrics in my head.

so if it looks like i’m not listening, it’s because i’m silently singing.

The Shack

I am reading The Shack right now. Almost half way through.

Once you make it past the flora and fauna jumble in the first chapter, it actually gets really good.

I am in love with the notion that God is a large black woman named Papa.

Anyway. Busy week. Lots to say, but not much to say here.

Love to you all.

Hey thanks.

Thanks for the help in re-thinking the visitor bags. You guys are the best.

This week is a little crazy for me, in that Mike came home, and I have a set change, and I’m prepping for Halloween next week.

And, you know, I ran over Mike’s lawn mower last Friday.

….did I not tell you that?

Oh.

Well don’t worry I didn’t tell him either. Not until I got the phone call: “Hey Em, I just checked our bank statement and there might be a fraudulent charge…someone spent 25 bucks at a lawnmower parts company in Texas…”

No uhhhh, that was me.

So yeah, so I backed over the lawn mower. So what? I also fixed it. Mostly. Well, at least I took it apart and figured out what parts I needed, and then I ordered them. From the parts company in Texas.

And I can’t lie, it was actually kind of fun to take the lawnmower apart.

Anyway.

That’s all I’ve got.

I got a letter yesterday.

I never get letters. Ever. I get e-mails, ’cause you know, they’re free and all.

Anyway, I was sorting through the mail, and Mike and I each got a letter (or so I thought) in a plane white envelope, with no return address, with a faint stamp on the front that said ‘St. Pete’ or something…I couldn’t quite make it out. It had no weight to it at all.

Mike was in the other room, and his letter had already been opened, but nothing was lying there so I had no idea what was in his envelope.

I picked mine up and opened it, and out slide a pair of these:

No packaging, no letter, just a pair of try-on socks. (By the way, I had to google “try-on socks” before I could find a picture of these things. I’ve never had to think of what they are actually called, but I guess the most obvious answer is sometimes the right one).

I dropped those suckers on the counter and ran to the sink and washed my hands. I swear to you I actually thought this: Anthrax. They’ve laced these things with anthrax and sent them to my house. I almost picked up Mike’s empty envelope to shake it over the counter, just to see if any white stuff fell out. I scrubbed my hands and yelled for Mike. I was like, “Dude, someone sent me a pair of little feety panty hose! What does this mean?!?!”

Well apparently, when I was at catalyst last week, Mike took his mom the birthday present we got for her in Savannah. We bought it right before we went to the shoe store. And after I tried on shoes, I must have shoved those things right into her gift bag.

So they mailed them back to me, just in case I wanted them.

p.s. – MIke’s envelope was also from his family, and they gave him chick-fil-a coupons…

inside the purse of a programming director

The contents of my purse spilt in the car the other day, and I was tickled by them, so I thought I’d let you in on what the inside of my purse looks like:

• My cell phone, obviously
• iPod
• Moleskin mini notebook…for notes when people call my cell phone all hours of the day and night
• Wallet
• TriVita b-12 thingies, for energy. My mom gave them to me.
• Chapstick
• A Baptism video cassette
• A checkbook
• An apple employees business card, since my iPod is being weird.
• Sunglasses
• 3 Crystal light drink packets (for energy, if you’re wondering)
• A total fitness business card w/ membership quotes on it…it’s a gym. har har har.
• 2 Grocery lists
• Aromatherapy headache relief cream.
• Church keys
• The number of a therapist
• A clothespin
• Oh wait, another grocery list
• A powder compact
• Various pens
• A home depot gift card, 4 Victoria’s secret free gift cards, 3 bath and body works coupons
• Half a bag of chex mix sweet-n-salty
• a combination master lock (i took that one out, in case you were wondering)
• a flash drive

Anything weird inside your purse ladies?

he has standards

friday night, 10:55 pm, polk county florida:

our ichat conversation (in the same room, 6 feet from each other):

mike: what is there to go do at 11pm in ‘the haven’
emily: sigh
mike: other than drugs and hookers
emily: go to the walmart
mike: absolutely not
mike: i’d rather poop in this chair and then clean it up

AHS BBQ/Controversy Friday

Today we are going to Auburndale High School (c/o 2003!) to feed the teachers and their families and give them some time to hang out.

It’s going to be awesome.

I am going to carry around a box of tissues so I don’t drip snot on the ribs.

<insert pithy saying here about you liking some apples>

Also,

your controversy for today: I am taking a few weeks off from blogging. Maybe I should say a few more weeks off, because it’s been shoddy up to this point and for that I owe you an apology. You will notice the decline began around August 1st, the same time this guy became my new boss. Having him around has been sunshine and fairy farts for the office, that’s true, but it’s wreaked havoc on my blogging schedule.

Next week I’ll be on vacation (with this guy). The week after that, I’ll be recovering from vacation.

So look for me to be back some time around October 1st.

Happy September!

Wednesday…

• 2 weeks and four days until vacation. I know I need one ’cause I keep looking at my friends myspace pages thinking, “I wish I could go visit them for a while…”
• GroupLink this Friday at RPC. Good event. Lots of work.
• Got our staff pictures back! Tabitha did an excellent job, as usual. Will post some later.
• Lots on my mind lately.
• Debt: one of my favorite lines in a song is, “credit is a whore who won’t wake up and leave…”. One of our goals is to pay off credit cards by the end of this year.
• Had an awesome meeting with my creative team on Monday night. They are so so smart and we came up with some great stuff (by the way if you want on this team you should let me know…)
• …so now I have a lot of work to do to implement it!
• I cannot WAIT for fall to get here! such an awesome time of year. Pumpkins! and Halloween! and Thanksgiving!
• Then Christmas!
• Went into a store the other day and they already had Christmas stuff out. Insane. It’s August.

That’s all I’ve got.

How’s your week so far?

a whale of a tale to tell you, lads

So I get a phone call from my dad on Friday. He’s out of town on business in Georgia somewhere.

He said, “I just had to tell you, I am sitting in the airport and I saw my first whale tail.”
I thought to myself, “Georgia has a Sea World?”
I said, “Uh…ok. What’s a whale tail?”
He said, “I thought you’d be so impressed that I knew the lingo.”
I was all, “Lingo?”
He said, “Yeah, that’s what they call it when a girl’s thong sticks out of the top of her jeans.”

Wow. My pops is educating me on the culture of the nation.

Did you guys know that’s what they called that?