it’s just research

Let’s talk about last night, when Mike and I wandered aimlessly around Lakeland with $350 cash. Another blog, another day.

Me: Can we go to Target?

Mike: Sure, what do you need?

Me: I want to try on one of those Monokini bathing suits

———15 minutes later————

Me: AAAAAHHHHHH (walking out of the fitting rooms). [to the lady at the desk] Designed by Satan?

Lady at desk: (polite laughter) We get that a lot.

Later we decide that we want to purchase some books because:

A. We like to read. Mike has recently re-discovered this in his life.

B. We are not smart and we want to be smarter.

C. Reading is cheaper than going to a bar.

So we go to the book section and Mike picks out a few things, I grab “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”

**You see blog buddies, I’ve wanted to read that book since I was…I don’t know, 16-ish. I am an only child. I know NOTHING about pregnancy. I’ve never seen it, never been around it. I am just curious.

I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR A CHILD RIGHT NOW. I’m thinking 30 looks like a good age to start thinking about kids. Thinking. Not making.

But I feel like I should find out what to expect while I’m expecting BEFORE the stick turns pink and there’s no turning back. I mean, isn’t that the WISE THING TO DO?!***End Rant.

Me: Mike, do you care if I get this? It’s 13 dollars.

Mike: [blink blink]

Me: I’m not pregnant

Mike: then why do you want it?

Me: (see rant above, only louder, and in Target)

Mike: You don’t need that book. Save if for when you’re pregnant (see he heard NOTHING of what I said before)

So I am befuddled and I can’t figure out why he is so freaked about a book, so I asked one of my guy friends about it. Here was his reponse:

“…but you should understand that men hear “expecting” and everything freaks out – we want kids, but we also love our freedom, and kids change that, and we just committed to marriage, and a kid poops in her pants, and we then need babysitters, and we have to pay for college, and teach them how to play t-ball and ride bikes, and we barely have enough time for each other, so how are we going to cram another little human into our lives, and what is it going to do to my wife and our relationship and will she love the kid more than me and will she even notice me and what’s up with the 6 weeks thing and what’s up with your hormones and what about the cravings and can we afford this and WHY DOES SHE WANT A BABY RIGHT NOW AND WE JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE WHAT IS SHE THINKING WE HAVEN’T EVEN MOVED IN YET AND SHE’S PICKING OUT COLORS FOR THE NURSERY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT SCHOOL DISTRICT WE ARE AND SHE WANTS ME TO TILE THE FLOORS AND THE KID’S GONNA HIT HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR AND BLEED OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND I’M GONNA GO TO JAIL AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE I WANT TO WORK OR WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE AND SHE’S ALL “LET’S HAVE A KID” AND I’M ALL “GET AWAY FROM ME” BUT I’M A GUY SO I CAN’T REALLY BE “GET AWAY FROM ME” SO SHE’S HOLDING ALL THE CARDS AND I FEEL LIKE I’M LOSING CONTROL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S COMING AND SHE’S THE WOMAN, SO SHE INHERENTLY COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDS WHAT’S COMING AND IT’S NOT FAIR AND I. HAVE. NO. CONTROL. ANYMORE.”

Oh.
Well why didn’t he just say that?

Whew

T-minus less than 48 hours until MarriedLife Live, Valentine’s Day 2008.

Ok, let’s see what I’m missing:

Band practice : check (and they sound so awesome!)
SWAG: check (you’re going to like it)
Speaker: check (Travis is going to be great!)
Game: check-ish (still figuring out logistics of this, but it’s going to be hilarious and you can win fun prizes!)
Sanity:

Lots of loose ends to tie up, but we’re getting there. Slowly but surely.

tat2s

My superhottie hubby is getting a coverup done on his arm.

Stage 1:

This is the outline with some shading over the original Phoenix tattoo. The cover up is a stained glass window featuring St. Michael kicking Satan’s arse. You can see the inspiration here.

The stained glass has what will be a brown frame and it continues to the underside of Mike’s arm. They’re saving the color on that for last. Ohhh it’s gonna hurt so good.

I can’t remember which sitting this was, but Trevor started adding color. It looked really great at this point, but we had no idea how awesome it would turn out after another sitting.

It’s getting there. Slowly but surely. This last picture is after a total of 16 hours of work, with at least 3 sittings left to go.

Do you have any ink?

Sex God

“Exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality” — Rob Bell

Well you’ve probably figured out by now that when I saw this book in the store I just had to have it. I’m like, “Hmmm. I’d like to be a sex god. Perhaps I will purchase this book.” So I did, and boy was it a good decision. Although I was tricked, because this book had almost nothing to do with how to become a sex god. It had everything to do with my messed up views of sex (views that you probably share) and the right way to look at sex. The way God looks at it.

This book is still really messing with my head, so I’m not going to try and lay it all out for you at this particular moment. Also, I’m not sure that I’m agreeing with everything in it…some of it is really confusing. I need to go back and read it again slowly with no chips in my hands.

The big idea of the book: this is always about that.

Woah, what? Yeah I know. It’s a lot to wrap your head around. Mr. Bell takes the idea that “this is always about that” and strains several other ideas through that filter. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

From Chapter Two “Sexy on the Inside”
“These moments move us because they have sexual dimension. They help us become reconnected. They go against our fallen nature, which is to be cut off.
“This is why music is so powerful. Have you ever noticed that when you ask people why a particular song or concert moved them so much, they often resort to ambiguous explanations?…. You get words like emotion and passion and energy and relationship and connection. Music is powerful because it is sexual. It connects us….The experience of a great concert-with everybody singing together, waving their hands in the air, and a feeling of oneness permeating the room- has a significant sexual dimension to it.”

The main idea here was that sexuality is about connections, not the physical act.

Chapter 3 “Angels and Animals”
“Some of the most comforting words in the universe are “me too.” That moment when you find out that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle, that you’re not alone, and that others have been down the same road.”

Chapter 6 “Worth Dying For”
“Do you ever find yourself questioning: Where does the buck stop?
” No. It’s not even on the radar. Over time you’ve built up reserves of trust and love, and power and control become irrelevant. The healthier and more whole a marriage relationship is, the less you ask thse kinds of questions. When people are truly living in what’s called “mutual submission,” you lose track of who’s in charge.
“In a marriage, you’re talking about power and control only when something central to the whole relationship has fallen apart.”
–
“What if that woman, the one with the husband who constantly disappoints her, what if she treated him as if he already were the man she wishes he was? What if she agapes him exactly as he is, today , with all of his flaws? If you are him, which is more motivating: being reminded of all of your failures and shortcomings, or being loved as if you’re a great man?… Our understanding of how God sees us will shape everything about how we live. What we do comes out of who we believe we are.“

I hope that if you read this blog you will get this book. It would be a good read for anyone: single, married, divorced, dating, old, young, male, or female. It has profoundly affected the way I think about every single person I come into contact with.

when nothing in your closet fits.

you know it’s time to cut back on some things.

If you don’t wear a bra you might want to go ahead and stop here.

I hate mornings where you wake up and have to try on 50 outfits because all your good jeans are dirty and all your “wow! this makes me look awesome!” shirts that fit have disappeared. You consider khakis, but do you feel like ironing? No. You feel like a fatty fat fat fat. You consider a skirt, but did you shave your legs? No, you are married and that is not necessary anymore. You look through that pile of jeans one more time and you realize you’ve had them for over a year and you are not going to fit in them ever again. You think of the hundreds (probably more like thousands) of dollars of clothes this closet holds…now worthless.

You end up wearing this:

Way to be professional. I found it in the backseat of my car. It’s covering up my baggy t-shirt.

There is hope though. We just got a bowflex. The sun comes up early enough that I can go do some cardio in the ghetto my neighborhood. I have motivation: swimsuit season is not far off. Wish me luck.

P.S.– I’ve been thinking about posting a video blog. If you haven’t seen those, it would be more like me talking to you on camera rather than writing. Any thoughts?

lest we forget…

God is not in the business of letting people down.

The story:
We had to get new car insurance. I’m sure most of you know it went up recently, and we never got on a shared policy since we’ve been married, so we figured it’s about time. So we find a place with a great price, and they tell us it will be about $160 down to start, which is fine. I mean, that’s a ton of money, but whatever, we have to do it.

Well, turns out after they run my VIN number, they see a hefty little ticket I received from drag racing down South Florida Avenue my sophomore year of college. They decide to up our first payment sort of like a deposit. They more than doubled it, which is basically my paycheck for an entire week. FREAKOUT. Holy meltdown while driving home from walmart. I think, “How are we going to do this? I hate pulling money out of savings…” I’m crying. It sucks. Just when you think your finances are starting to balance out, something always happens. Maybe I should turn around and return the butterfingers I just bought.

Not 15 minutes later, I find out that my inlaws decided to owe us $175, not having any clue what just went on. A few weeks ago Mike got new tires on his car and…it’s a long story, but they gave us back $175 we had spent. Which covered some of that insurance cost. And all I can do is look at my ceiling with a lump in my throat and think, “When will I ever learn?”

God is not in the business of letting people down.

and that’s how we became engineers…

So, as programming director for RPC, it’s my job to make sure all the props are in and things are going to go smoothly for the entire service, but in particulary for Timm. Sometimes I rock it and the service is flawless.

Sometimes I fail miserably.

Right now we’re doing a series about being covered under the umbrella of God’s protection, so we’re doing all kinds of object lessons with umbrellas. It’s really cool. Yesterday, Timm needed an umbrella hat, seen here:

He was talking about…well it doesn’t really matter. Go read his blog to find out.

Anyway, I ordered one a few weeks ago and it accidentally got thrown away. Grr. So this past week I ordered a new one, but on Saturday night at 6:00 PM when I got a phone call from Timm, it still hadn’t come it. Craaaaap. Did I mention Saturday was my first wedding anniversary? haha.

So my husband, being the SAINT that he is, decides we can make an umbrella hat. No big deal.
He’s my hero.

So we go to Walmart and buy hot glue guns, wooden stick things, a pink umbrella (I picked that part), etc. and come home. I’ll spare you the details of making the hat, but here’s how it turned out:

FREAKIN’ AWESOME, RIGHT?! Seriously. It worked like a champ. Timm decided to go another route instead of using it, but that’s cool. At least I had fun making it.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MIKE! Year 2, day 2. Here we go.

my blanket and me

I’m sure you’ve seen the blanket I’m thinking of.  It’s a soft cotton in the middle, and it has a silky strip around the edges. It’s about 3′x3′ and it’s the most glorious thing in the world. This is the closest pic I can find.

I should know. I’ve had one since I was born. Not the same one (because I’m really rough on blankets), but the same blanket in different colors. I cannot sleep without it.  My friends know better than to screw around with the blanket, as does my husband.  Sometimes, when it’s time for bed, I walk in to find Mike snuggled up with blankie. MY BLANKIE. It’s war. I will fight to the death for that blanket.

2 nights ago he told me (as he wrestled the blanket from my arms), “You’re like that dirty kid from Charlie Brown.” Duh Mike. I gently told him that the kid with the blanket is Linus, and Pigpen is the dirty kid.  His response:

“Well, you’re a hybrid.”

Thanks honey.

I did the musical “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” in high school…in fact, it was the first production (I use that term loosely) I’d ever been a part of. So, I’d like to quote Linus and say, “It’s foolish, I know it. I’ll try to out-grow it, but meanwhile it’s my blanket and me.”

So deal already.