This post has a serious title, but I’m sure the content will entertain you.

So I went to test drive a car recently.  I should’ve become suspicious when the guy said, “Yeah, um, it needs a new battery. I can buy you one today. But before you drive it, I’ll need to jump it.” “Ok,”I said, “no problem.”

STUPID.

So he jumped it, it ran fine, I pulled onto OBT (Orange Blossom Trail in Orlando, Florida, for all you out-of-towners) and made it about one hundred feet to a red light, where the car promptly ran out of gas. So I turned the hazards on, and they worked great. For a minute. Because, yes, you guessed it. Bad battery = no charge = car hazard lights not working… on OBT.

While I was standing there yelling on my iPhone at the dealership guys to come get me, directing traffic around “my car”, a group of nice young men across the street came and pushed me off the side of the road into a pay-by-the-hour motel parking lot. They didn’t speak much English, but they waved a lot.

Did I mention I was wearing a tank top and shorts in the ghetto?

So the dealership guys came and got me and put gas in the car, and jumped the battery again, and believe it or not I still wanted to take it out and see how it drove. But alas, alack, even with gas and the battery recharged, it broke down again…on OBT….again.

So I politely asked to be taken back to my car, like, RIGHT NOW. AND WHAT ARE YOU THINKING SENDING ME OUT ALONE IN A CAR THAT YOU KNOW WON’T WORK?! I omitted the profanity for you.

So, we’ve learned some life lessons here.

1. If you’re going to test drive a car, check the gas gauge before you go.
2. Make someone ride with you from the dealership. Yeah, they just handed me the keys and told me to go.
3. If they have to jump the battery or fix something before you ride off the lot, reconsider immediately.
4. If you are a 100 pound white girl, don’t go test drive cars on OBT by yourself.

i was having a weird day at work today. my feet hurt. i didn’t want to be there. i was missing people. i was zoning out and completely missing customers that walked in.

and then one of my coworkers called in sick. she sounded bad. bad bad. i talked to her when she called, i asked her if i could do anything for her. she said no. i told her i made amazing chicken noodle soup, and she laughed (did someone warn her about my cooking skills?!) and said no thanks, and i made sure she had my cell phone number and to call me if she needed something. but she laughed.

and i suddenly felt much better.

new job.

new schedule.

new clothes.

new pay.

new language.

new aches.

new friends.

new insecurities.

new ways to make a fool of myself.

new opportunities to be a good employee.

new people to lead.

lots of new.

I have not been so excited about something in a long, long time.

If you are female and you’ve been in church, I know you’re heard this, “Alright, listen up guys, this is for YOU! Let’s talk about pornography…“

I always roll my eyes heavily at this, because WOMEN DEAL WITH THIS TOO! Trust me. I know. AND, I know I’m not the only one who thinks and feels this way. In fact, almost every female my age that I know has seen porn privately and/or corporately, or struggled with an addiction to it.

I just found out about some studies being conducted by Crystal Renaud (www.pinkhairedgirl.net). She’s writing a book called Dirty Girls: The New Porn Addicts.

LADIES, If you are addicted to porn, used to be addicted to porn, or you know a female that struggles with porn, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take some time to go fill out a survey. All information is confidential and your identity will be protected. We have to empower ourselves with information, so share what you know. Don’t be scared! Don’t be ashamed!

Knowledge is power.

I filled out a survey and thought, “I’m doing this for my daughter, even though I don’t know her yet.”