Hi

I’ve been in a medically induced depression and just recently feel like a person again. How’s your day going?

I’ve been thinking about this post all week. I wasn’t going to say anything about it because although I love you inter-people very much, I don’t know all of you and well, it’s personal.

But screw that, because this is all about transparency, right? This is about real people and real life and I am about to be really really real with you.

For a lot of months I was really unhappy with my whole life, for no good reason. I have an awesome job, a really hot awesome nice good cook of a husband, we’re getting a house, we have some money. And I would daily think about driving my car into a tree. And I couldn’t get it…like, almost like I was in a fog, you know? I just wanted to quit everything, lay in my bed, and never come out. That sounds all dramatic and stuff, and it is, and it was.

Let me just say that unless you’ve really experienced depression you might not want to mock it, because it is a biotch.

In the midst of me feeling all foggy and crazy and sad, I was trying different types of medication (you know, the kind that let you live the married life without all the babies running around). Turns out that stuff was making me crazy. After ruling out other things I started doing some interweb research about side effects and let me tell you, I was not alone. I didn’t want to go off of it, but I finally stopped taking it out of pure desperation.

I have been off of it for 9 days now and I cannot tell you how amazing I feel. I can think through things again. I get mad about things. I have patience. I’ve had stress headaches because of all the stuff I’m taking on trying to catch up. I feel so incredibly ALIVE that I can’t believe it. I guess the bottom line is: I feel.

Life lessons:
1. If you are depressed, talk to someone about it. I did and he helped
2. Women, listen to your bodies.
3. Research the medicine you are on.
4. Don’t wait.