Life Lessons

This post has a serious title, but I’m sure the content will entertain you.

So I went to test drive a car recently.  I should’ve become suspicious when the guy said, “Yeah, um, it needs a new battery. I can buy you one today. But before you drive it, I’ll need to jump it.” “Ok,”I said, “no problem.”

STUPID.

So he jumped it, it ran fine, I pulled onto OBT (Orange Blossom Trail in Orlando, Florida, for all you out-of-towners) and made it about one hundred feet to a red light, where the car promptly ran out of gas. So I turned the hazards on, and they worked great. For a minute. Because, yes, you guessed it. Bad battery = no charge = car hazard lights not working… on OBT.

While I was standing there yelling on my iPhone at the dealership guys to come get me, directing traffic around “my car”, a group of nice young men across the street came and pushed me off the side of the road into a pay-by-the-hour motel parking lot. They didn’t speak much English, but they waved a lot.

Did I mention I was wearing a tank top and shorts in the ghetto?

So the dealership guys came and got me and put gas in the car, and jumped the battery again, and believe it or not I still wanted to take it out and see how it drove. But alas, alack, even with gas and the battery recharged, it broke down again…on OBT….again.

So I politely asked to be taken back to my car, like, RIGHT NOW. AND WHAT ARE YOU THINKING SENDING ME OUT ALONE IN A CAR THAT YOU KNOW WON’T WORK?! I omitted the profanity for you.

So, we’ve learned some life lessons here.

1. If you’re going to test drive a car, check the gas gauge before you go.
2. Make someone ride with you from the dealership. Yeah, they just handed me the keys and told me to go.
3. If they have to jump the battery or fix something before you ride off the lot, reconsider immediately.
4. If you are a 100 pound white girl, don’t go test drive cars on OBT by yourself.