Sicky sick sick sick.

I went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor yesterday. Praise the Lord, amen, hallelujah.

It was quite a day. I was on the phone with his nurses, the insurance people at Bond clinic, and the United Healthcare people for about 45 minutes, trying to figure out if it was OK for me to go to the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor (who shall herein be referred to as the ENT DR.), ’cause they wanted a referral first. It was OK. It would only be 25 dollars. I had an appointment that very morning.

HOLLER!

I went in, filled some forms out, and I was serious about it. I brought every medication I’ve been taking in my daily concoction to keep myself alive. Tylenol severe cold day, tylenol severe cold night, vick’s vapor rub, cough drops, neilmed sinus rinse, flonase, etc.

I meet the nice doctor (and he really was nice, and deserved none of my attitude, but I really hate being sick and I’d put off this visit about 2 weeks too long). I tell him about my history with allergies and how I’ve had shots and everything he could possibly give me, and it only works for about 2 weeks until my body figures out how to conquer it and then it’s no good. Here’s the cool part:

HE ACTUALLY LISTENED. He said, OK then we won’t do that.

rock and roll.

Then he says, “May I stick this camera down your nose?” He asked it just like that.

OH MY GOSH DOCTOR MAN, YES YOU CAN STICK THAT CAMERA IN MY NOSE! That is freakin’ the coolest thing ever!!! I said, “Will I get to see it on the TV?!” He said no, it’s not hooked up. Bummer.

So he sprays some kind of numbing stuff down my nose and sticks the camera in there..all the way down into my throat. I could feel it when I swallowed. It was crazy. He learned a lot while he was in there. Mostly that my throat problems have little to do with my allergies, and a lot to do with acid reflux. And a sinus infection.

But I don’t have heartburn, I argued.

Doesn’t matter, he says.

But…I don’t have gross burps or have nasty tastes from burping.

Doesn’t matter.

But…I’m not an old man who just ate a chili dog.

Easy fix, he tells me. Don’t eat or drink 2 hours before bedtime (including naps) and take this pill and take some antibiotics and see if it helps you. Keep taking your allergy medicine.

So I scored some free antibiotics from Publix and hopefully, help is on the way.

‘Cause if I keep coughing all night, Mike is going to leave me.